At Another Crossroad

I feel as if our family is at another crossroad with the youngest son. He is 8 now and he is "feeling" more than ever! Real emotions. This could get hairy!

Communication Between Adults & their Spouses

Nice article found at The Autism News

"The NT will need to accept the fact that they must learn a new way of communicating. They’ll need to understand that their partner does not “catch” nuances and hints and intimations that a neurotypical individual might. These things are invisible to the Aspie. Not because they have chosen this to be so. But simply because it is so. Facial expressions, small sighs, innuendo … these are wasted and non-productive. A straightforward and verbally precise manner is needed on the part of the NT.

And, if their AS mate values the relationship, and is willing to listen to this direct communication, life can change for the better. The Aspie needs to heed the NT’s feelings, even though the Aspie has no sense of this for themselves. If the Asperger’s spouse is willing to act on the NT’s stated needs, the partnership can work. The partners can find fulfillment together."

Aspergian Empathy

Gavin Bollard is my favorite Aspie- viewpoint wise that is... (Of course my hubby & sons are MY true favs!) Here is his latest post & an excerpt on how he views showing empathy in the light of his recent loss. ******************************************************************************** I know that now I'm in danger of confusing emotion with empathy, so I'll try to clarify. Crying at a funeral doesn't necessarily mean that you are feeling empathetic towards others. Often, we're simply crying over our own personal loss - a person who was special to us. What such crying does do however is; 1. Paint us (aspies) as human beings, not monsters. 2. Enable us to understand how others may feel. ...... Concluding I guess that the main point I wanted to make here was that next time an NT starts complaining about the aspie lack of empathy being the cause of their relationship break up, spare a thought for the aspie in the relationship who can't lie about feelings they know are there but which don't appear until conditions are right.

Their inner conflict causes them just as much pain as the outer pain that NTs display only since they lack the facilities to convey the message, they can only watch in stunned silence as they are treated like unemotional serial killers and their relationship collapses around them.

Sometimes too, it's the aspie experiencing all the emotion and the NTs who are lacking in empathy.

Genius! Thank you Gavin, once again for a "map" into the Aspie minefield that is emotion.

Frustrated:??

Virtual Bubble Wrap for those frustrating moments, Manic Mode is my fav! Not quite the same, but fun for a distraction...

I pop bubble wrap at 3.06 bubbles per second! I popped 196 bubbles in 1 minute and 4 seconds at www.Virtual-Bubblewrap.com! Can you beat my score?

Earth Hour is Tonight!

Earth Hour is tonight! Saturday, March 28th from 8:30-9:30 p.m.

Can you sacrifice an hour's worth of electricity for one hour tonight to save some energy & raise awareness? Earth Hour U.S. Kids' Page

Blog Awards go to:

I rec'd this blog award from: More than a number blog last week. Thanks! This award is for blogs that show a positive attitude, I’m very happy about it. :) Now according to the rules… 1) Put the logo on your blog or post. 2) Nominate at least 10 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude. 3) Link to your nominees within your post. 4) Let the nominees know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog. 5) Share the love and link to the person from who you received your award. My top blogs I think are great because of optimistic living are: Monkey Manor Enchanted Dandelions The Roeh Rundown Brilliant Spectrum Child: The Adventures of Orange Boy Loving & Supporting Mamas and Babies Stand & Deliver

"No One is Perfect and You are a Great Kid!"

New book with this title, being released: "No One is Perfect and You are a Great Kid!" There is a review here of this book & an interview with the author, Kim Hix.

My 1st Bloggy Award!

I got someone's attention... I received a Blog Award. To be specific, a "When Life Hands you Lemons..." award Was not sure how these worked, but I do now. It just means SOMEONE appreciated(s) what they read once or in multiple posts... I am told to pick 1o fav blogs of mine to pass on the award... I will do so promptly. Kelly

JER= Genius

He is ... he is a genius. John Elder Robinson, that is. Just read this post about the value of neurological testing; he is super wise, super smart & my dh & myself could not agree more. Thanks, JER. One of his commenters says this: "Aspergers = not a brat. People are so much more compassionate when they have a label to work with. And my daughter is MOST DEFINITLY not a brat. " CORRECT-A-MUNDO, unfortunately... thanks to her, too! That is a brilliant perspective that helps justify my behaviors that are meant to deal with the AS in my life.

Ticket Reward System

The ticket reward system is going well. J.'s behavior has actually improved! Improvement is good!!! He receives tickets for small chores, obeying, eating breakfast, getting dressed, taking his vitamins, cooperating at the library, playing educational games, etc.

For rewards:

5 tickets gets him:

watch cartoons, make goo or play-doh, eat ice cream, play with shaving cream, play video game online, get chocolate milk at bedtime.

10 tickets gets him: having a friend over, making a campfire & roasting marshmallows, watching a movie.

20 tickets gets: go to Cici's, go to the playground, an action figure at the store, pick a surprise out of the wrapped gifts bag.

50 tickets gets: a new video game

He is now in the process of saving for the new video game. It will take him about 2 weeks, but that means he cannot afford to purchase anything else in the meantime.

ABC's of Decluttering Your Home

The ABCs of Decluttering Your Home
Having trouble being bit by the organizing bug? It's really as easy as A-B-C. Just follow these simple steps and see a change in your home in a short amount of time.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1594/the_abcs_of_decluttering_your_home.html

Survival Guide to Persons w/ AS

Survival Guide, you ask? Yes, indeedy... that is if they care about being understood, it seems. Others will not just mark it up to being "weird" if they understand... or maybe you don't care... you don't have to, it is up to each individual. COPING:A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR PEOPLE WITH ASPERGER SYNDROME These pages are a copy of the book, 'Coping: A Survival Guide for People with Asperger Syndrome' by Marc Segar. This is a valuable piece of writing which is worthy of as wide a readership as possible - which is why we have put it on the web.

Playdates

My son was invited to play at a friend's house yesterday & the mom came & picked him up for a couple of hours, to ride the Power Wheels in his yard.

It went well... it was a good day for a little break.

Spouse with AS

Another post about living with a spouse with AS. (or is it?) We are loving, family-oriented, prayerful, busy, tired, and agree on which puppy to pick. I cannot put my finger on an issue at the moment... but seems as if something is awry anyhow. Will everyday always feel like this? I am not "looking" for problems... I like the peace. But somehow I feel like it will blow up again, soon- very soon. It is probably MY head issues... I have succombed to it - I don't feel so NT now. Nothing to be done... just keep busy, stay positive & release on this blog.

Rewards System

I have been on the look out for something that will work with my son, to help him understand consequences, reward for hard work & life in general. This is what I found: I am trying the "Ticket System" with my 6 yo son, starting tomorrow. I purchased a roll of tickets at Wal-Mart for less than $4.00, to hand out to him when I catch him being good & when he cooperates during the day.

He will get some t.v. time at bedtime, play Cartoon Network games online or have chocolate ice cream as his rewards. These are the only things that entice him, so I am using it.

We will see how well it works, I will update.

Autism Twitter Day- DEC 16

Will you join us? Autism Twitter Day – Tuesday, Dec 16th pacific standard time – 9AM, 12:30 PM and 8 PM. Prizes will be given out and a panel will be available with information and to answer questions. This is open to twitter members, specifically those who are members of the autism community, whether it be a parent, sibling or relative. If you are on the spectrum you are welcome to take part. Most of the prizes are geared to children and young adults with autism or asperger syndrome. The hashtag to be used for autism twitter day is #ASD. This means when you post a tweet that day which is on the topic of autism – positive autism awareness, please use the hashtag, either in front or at end of the tweet. Open up a window at www.summize.com and input #ASD to follow along with the conversation at the specified times. Most likely they will run longer than one hour. Stay tuned here and to my blog for prize and panel info. We will be testing your knowledge on autism spectrum disorders, this is how the prizes will be awarded. Bonnie has assembled an ever-growing collection of prizes, ranging from a children’s hammock (Charlie is too big for this, I suspect) to software to storytime felt sets. I’m not a big Twitter-er (my Twitter id is autismvox) but will be sure to be Twitter-ing on December 16th, and I don’t think I’ll be alone. So join in and see what you can find out and or contribute. You can follow along #ASD here!

Do You Twitter?

I have discovered that I like the online app, Twitter> www.twitter.com/somewannaknow is my screen name... I have many 'acquantinces' on there that are Autism advocates & I have met some neat people. Thought I would share... Oh, Gavin Bollard is on there, too!

The Zac Browser

The Zac Browser- created by a parent with Autistic children in mind. Works well for any child, in my opinion. Keeps the child on certain sites, with minimal distractions, such as ads, pop-ups, etc.

User-friendly to use & Free to download!

"We have made this browser for the children - for their enjoyment, enrichment, and freedom. Children touch it, use it, play it, interact with it, and experience independence through ZAC." -zacbrowser.com

Watch a AP news report about it here .

Must see! No problems so far... love it, actually!

Making Picture Schedules

Making Picture Schedules & Story Strips for daily life for someone with AS.

Thanks to dotolearn.com for the clip art. I have a 6 yo son with Asperger's, as many of you know. We have a very hard time transitioning him into getting dressed for our Bible Services, especially. He knows he will be sitting, though we allow him to draw, write & look at books while there, hence the non-cooperativeness. He usually opts out of the choices we give him to do while there & wiggles around instead. Understandable, we are lenient in this situation. We allow him to undo his top button & take off his shoes while sitting; which is way more than would be otherwise expected, I think.

So, in light of this, I have made several Picture/ Visuals for him & it helps, so we will stick with it till it stops helping. Thought I would share...

Wordless Wednesday